Words Are Never Enough

A friend of mine from my days in Egypt is quickly losing her father to cancer. I read her email about the whole incident so far. The facts: diagnosed in December, rushed to the hospital multiple times, on 24/7 pain relievers, given a week to a month to live as of a few days ago. I hit reply. I sat on the floor at my sweet little house, my fingers hovering over the keyboard waiting for inspiration.

I wanted to say so much but nothing came to mind that would truly express what I wanted to say. I sit here again with the same jumbled thoughts watching the sun travel slowly across the floor, listening to the birds chattering outside, snot running down my nose (allergies are a pain!) My new summer housemate has woken up and is rehashing her late night.

I guess these are the things you say to someone who is facing loss. Life goes on; people partially understand another's loss; but ultimately life goes on and things happen and we cannot communicate the understanding of loss because we are inadequate communicators (if we were adequate we would never fight, argue, misunderstand each other).

Dear friend,

I cannot email you an adequate reply. I cannot say I understand the loss of a parent because mine are still so young. I can imagine it and I dread the moment, but I do not understand it yet. Someday, and God willing a very long time from now, I will understand, but it still won't be perfectly because no one's parents are exactly the same (even sibblings don't know the same parents) so the loss is never exactly the same.

I thank God I am not a counselor and I am just a teacher, because I could never give all the verbal dribble and actually believe it.

Yours in Christ,

Mermy

This is the message I could not send at the time and even then it doesn't seem adequate.